Because your scent reminded me of him...

Today was an interesting day. I met someone new.

Just this morning, I took the IELTS exam for my student visa application. It was a rainy day, and I was wearing this huge gray hoodie on top of my halter top. It was awkward because the hoodie looked like it wasn't made for non-winter seasons. Anyway...

I walked to my seat and sat there quietly. Beside me was a seat of some guy... A few more minutes passed by and I was already getting bored just sitting there with no one to talk to. Til my seatmate came.

He was a guy of my age, and decent-looking. He was even cute, mind you! I mean, if it was a girl I would've said hi right away, introduced myself and started mingling because that's the type of person I am. But this time it's different because he's a guy. A GUY.

So, 10 minutes passed...15...20.. with still, none of us trying to even start a conversation. We've got plenty of time to waste because the exam will be starting at exactly 9 o'clock. And it's only past 8, and it's getting boring ...just too quiet for me.

TALK TO ME TALK TO ME TALK TO ME. These are the words I kept on saying to myself, hoping this guy would have the guts to at least start a conversation. Until I can't take it anymore, I just had to do it.

So there. I did the first move. It was awkward for me, because I don't know.. I felt like, I shouldn't be the one initiating the conversation because I'm the girl.. but oh well. I just had to do it.

So I asked him.. "San ka papunta?"

At first, he looked puzzled ..like he had no idea what I'm talking about. So I repeated myself and asked again.. "Saang country ka papunta?"

And that started a 30-minute conversation, until the examination finally started.

That conversation was too short for someone who wants to know so much about the other person but too long as well in the sense that we've talked about so many things in such a short time, 30 minutes. From the meaning of his tattoo, to his family abroad, to my family abroad..to his finished university course, mine..rain..flood..etc.

I wanted to ask his number soooo bad. HAHA! You see, it's very important to have contacts especially when you've already moved to another country. It also happened that we'll both be moving to the same countnry, on the same target month. So, I thought it would be convenient to at least have a friend who's in the same situation like I do. (Excusessss! Haha.)

But I thought to myself..hey..*I* did the first move. *I* started the conversation. If he does want to keep in contact, then he will ask for it. If he doesn't, then it was nice talking to him...I guess..........

So it's been established: He's cute. Okay to talk to. Open. And not arrogant. CHECK!

We're done with the exam and it was time to say goodbye. I bid him good luck then we finally went on our own separate ways.

Just after we walked apart, that I realized ..I didn't even get to know his name, nor did he get mine. o.o

And thought to myself...

If ever our roads do cross again in the future, then I guess it's already fate telling me to my face: "...DO SOMETHING."

Hear my heart out

I love you.

Will someone else please help me move on?

Never Lose Hope

Never lose hope.

These were the last three words said in the movie He's Just Not That Into You before it ended. Some parts were quite dragging, but as it neared its end I found it quite comforting and heart-oomfing. It made me fall in love.

Watching the movie reminded me of my own love stories gone bad. Flashbacks of me trying to be "the One" for some guy came into my mind, curling my lips into a what-the-hell-was-i-thinking smile.

See, everyone wants a happy ending, everyone wants someone to spend the rest of their lives with. And it's funny how we, sometimes, end up doing crazy...stupid...humiliating...insane.... random things thinking that this person could possibly be "the One," so why not put yourself out and just DO IT, right? Not minding what the other people might think or how much of a doofus we're making ourselves out of.

A few months ago, I had a fling with someone I barely even knew. All I knew is, I liked talking to him and I like how he made me feel. And for a certain time, I knew he felt the same with me. It was my choice not to make things official because I was afraid to lose the game. It was a fling, so I wanted to keep it as casual as we can and yknow, just have fun and keep it that way--no strings attached. It was good until I fell into my own trap and lost my game. What happened? I fell in love.

It was complicated. I mean, falling in love is never a problem...unless, the person you're in love with is with someone else. Yadada, you get the picture. Bottom line is, I lost. Moral of the lesson? Don't put yourself into a situation you don't think you can win, or handle at least. OR just don't do flings if you fall in love quite easily. Because you'll end up being me.

So what does my story have to do with the movie's story? See, like the girl there...I can be a little too keen when I'm interested in someone. It's just so hard sometimes to contain yourself when you're into someone. There's this urge to call him, see him, talk to him, hug him, kiss him...but your mind says NO DONT DO THAT, because this and this and that. Then overanalyzing happens, paranoia strikes. Story of my life.

So, given "that" complication, I still stayed in the relationship...if you can call it A relationship, but yeah..you know what I mean. I didn't want to lose him so bad that I managed to accept just being his second best. Even though all the signs were there, of him not being into me anymore as much as how he used to be, I still stayed there and even used "friendship's sake" as an excuse just to keep in contact with him. Until then, I still was longing for him but now...maybe it's time to move on.

This movie made me realize a lot of things as I watched it. And before it finally ended, I had a mini-conversation with myself:

..................He's not that into you,

because he is NOT for you.

So my advice to all those who haven't found their "the One"s yet? Never lose hope. Take risks. Go on, do it even how crazy, insane or outrageous you think it is. Because who knows, he could be THE ONE. :)

The Reboundee

For the nth time, I deleted him from my list.

I seriously should find the strength to resist the temptation of talking to him.

He doesn't like you.

He's not that into you anymore.

He's not interested, obviously. So stop believing he "still could be."
Stop running after him, stop chasing him.

IT IS OVER.

To him, you were just a rebound girl -nothing more, nothing less.

STATUS: Single

I am single and tomorrow marks my 21st year of singlehood. Yep, another NBSB here hun.

See, at first I wasn't bothered at all, couldn't care less that I am single and have remained single since birth. But as years passed by, it started to take a toll on me. Now I'm hell bothered, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL SINGLE???

My friends have been asking the same thing to me everytime we stumble upon that subject -my 'singleness'. I may not be a perfect 10 but I'm not a failure either when it comes to looks. I am fun, sweet and understanding (no self-bias here, promise!). So what's the problem then?, they would ask me. Well, how the hell would I know??????!

I have friends who are just like me, NBSBs. One, in my opinion, has a personality that's too strong, I think she might be scaring the guys away. The other one's obsessed with Barbie dolls and is such a softy, not that it's a bad thing...but yeah, it could be a factor aye? And um, another one in my opinion is HOT but, has remained single since her day 1 in this world. Like, what's the matter with you GUYS?!?!

Sadly, this issue has been depressing me for the past few months. I just graduated from uni a few months ago, and I've literally been a bum since then. And I tell you, it's not fun being a bum because you tend to worry about random things you earlier never bothered thinking about. Like say, in my situation, my singlehood.

There've been a number of guys who have shown interest in me but none went past the friendship zone. Recently, I've become really keen to meet people, maybe too keen that I scared some of my prospects away. HAHA. Bad move eh? But yeah, I hate to overthink and stress myself thinking bout this but I really just would like to know... WHERE THE HELL IS MY PRINCE CHARMING????

Some would tell me to just wait, and all those cliche stuff, the more you chase it the more it would elude you...and all that jazz.. but, hell isn't 21 years enough??? I don't wanna grow old alone? It's nice to feel special and loved by someone. So please, prince charming...end my misery and step into my life NOW.

And my writing saga begins.

If there's one word that could best describe me, it would be 'rebellious.'

Everyone's obsessing over Edward Cullen? Boo.

Everyone's following this latest trend. So what?

Everyone thinks you're out of style. Style my ass.

Mom doesn't like me wearing a fringe, I chop my hair and wear a fringe.

Everyone thinks I can't do it, I roar and do it.

Boyfriend says don't talk to that guy, I do otherwise.

See, I never really thought I'd be making blog posts just like this one probably because everyone already has one and I dislike joining the bandwagon. But hey, the quirks and perks of being able to write whatever you want, setting yourself free, sharing your own deepest and darkest (HAHA!) secrets to the world without the hassle of your friends teasing you or worst, blackmailing you...and so on and so forth? The list is endless.

So to you, my readers, this post marks the beginning of my writing saga. I'll let myself be known as the RebelliousOne. :)