Hear my heart out

I love you.

Will someone else please help me move on?

Never Lose Hope

Never lose hope.

These were the last three words said in the movie He's Just Not That Into You before it ended. Some parts were quite dragging, but as it neared its end I found it quite comforting and heart-oomfing. It made me fall in love.

Watching the movie reminded me of my own love stories gone bad. Flashbacks of me trying to be "the One" for some guy came into my mind, curling my lips into a what-the-hell-was-i-thinking smile.

See, everyone wants a happy ending, everyone wants someone to spend the rest of their lives with. And it's funny how we, sometimes, end up doing crazy...stupid...humiliating...insane.... random things thinking that this person could possibly be "the One," so why not put yourself out and just DO IT, right? Not minding what the other people might think or how much of a doofus we're making ourselves out of.

A few months ago, I had a fling with someone I barely even knew. All I knew is, I liked talking to him and I like how he made me feel. And for a certain time, I knew he felt the same with me. It was my choice not to make things official because I was afraid to lose the game. It was a fling, so I wanted to keep it as casual as we can and yknow, just have fun and keep it that way--no strings attached. It was good until I fell into my own trap and lost my game. What happened? I fell in love.

It was complicated. I mean, falling in love is never a problem...unless, the person you're in love with is with someone else. Yadada, you get the picture. Bottom line is, I lost. Moral of the lesson? Don't put yourself into a situation you don't think you can win, or handle at least. OR just don't do flings if you fall in love quite easily. Because you'll end up being me.

So what does my story have to do with the movie's story? See, like the girl there...I can be a little too keen when I'm interested in someone. It's just so hard sometimes to contain yourself when you're into someone. There's this urge to call him, see him, talk to him, hug him, kiss him...but your mind says NO DONT DO THAT, because this and this and that. Then overanalyzing happens, paranoia strikes. Story of my life.

So, given "that" complication, I still stayed in the relationship...if you can call it A relationship, but yeah..you know what I mean. I didn't want to lose him so bad that I managed to accept just being his second best. Even though all the signs were there, of him not being into me anymore as much as how he used to be, I still stayed there and even used "friendship's sake" as an excuse just to keep in contact with him. Until then, I still was longing for him but now...maybe it's time to move on.

This movie made me realize a lot of things as I watched it. And before it finally ended, I had a mini-conversation with myself:

..................He's not that into you,

because he is NOT for you.

So my advice to all those who haven't found their "the One"s yet? Never lose hope. Take risks. Go on, do it even how crazy, insane or outrageous you think it is. Because who knows, he could be THE ONE. :)

The Reboundee

For the nth time, I deleted him from my list.

I seriously should find the strength to resist the temptation of talking to him.

He doesn't like you.

He's not that into you anymore.

He's not interested, obviously. So stop believing he "still could be."
Stop running after him, stop chasing him.

IT IS OVER.

To him, you were just a rebound girl -nothing more, nothing less.

STATUS: Single

I am single and tomorrow marks my 21st year of singlehood. Yep, another NBSB here hun.

See, at first I wasn't bothered at all, couldn't care less that I am single and have remained single since birth. But as years passed by, it started to take a toll on me. Now I'm hell bothered, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL SINGLE???

My friends have been asking the same thing to me everytime we stumble upon that subject -my 'singleness'. I may not be a perfect 10 but I'm not a failure either when it comes to looks. I am fun, sweet and understanding (no self-bias here, promise!). So what's the problem then?, they would ask me. Well, how the hell would I know??????!

I have friends who are just like me, NBSBs. One, in my opinion, has a personality that's too strong, I think she might be scaring the guys away. The other one's obsessed with Barbie dolls and is such a softy, not that it's a bad thing...but yeah, it could be a factor aye? And um, another one in my opinion is HOT but, has remained single since her day 1 in this world. Like, what's the matter with you GUYS?!?!

Sadly, this issue has been depressing me for the past few months. I just graduated from uni a few months ago, and I've literally been a bum since then. And I tell you, it's not fun being a bum because you tend to worry about random things you earlier never bothered thinking about. Like say, in my situation, my singlehood.

There've been a number of guys who have shown interest in me but none went past the friendship zone. Recently, I've become really keen to meet people, maybe too keen that I scared some of my prospects away. HAHA. Bad move eh? But yeah, I hate to overthink and stress myself thinking bout this but I really just would like to know... WHERE THE HELL IS MY PRINCE CHARMING????

Some would tell me to just wait, and all those cliche stuff, the more you chase it the more it would elude you...and all that jazz.. but, hell isn't 21 years enough??? I don't wanna grow old alone? It's nice to feel special and loved by someone. So please, prince charming...end my misery and step into my life NOW.